Valentine Schmalentines

I apologize for not posting every day like I promised. I haven't been in a very good place lately. I don't know if it's winter depression, or maybe some leftover, residual post partum depression or what, but I've been down and out and just blah about everything. The motivation has been sucked out of me like a vacuum and all I really want to do is pull the covers over my head and sleep (which can't and wont happen because I have a hyperactive ten month old who is now taking steps on his own).

So, it wasn't really any big surprise that I would be blah about this year's Valentines Day as well.  Not that I was ever really all that excited over it. I'll admit, I'm not very romantic. In fact I'm pretty dude-like in many aspects. If you absolutely must have an example, I just finished clipping my toenails on the couch and then I stuffed my face with nachos (after going on a taco binge earlier today). The sexiness is just radiating out of me today so ladies hide yo men!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for those of you who have cheesy, romantic, flower filled, gushy Hallmark card holidays. Everyone should feel loved and appreciated, and just because I'm having a woe is me, poopy flavored lollipop of a year, doesn't mean that everyone should suffer (although I hope you all choke on your chocolates....KIDDING.....I choked on a Mexican pizza many years ago at Los Dos Amigos and it was pretty damn terrifying). 

My husband isn't much better. If it were up to him holidays wouldn't even exist at all.  Yes, it's true, he was super duper romantic on our first Valentine's Day, but let's just say that over the years it's just sort of become another day for us on the calendar.  Last night we had to run to Safeway so while we were out we grabbed a box of chocolates that were on clearance and then upgraded our coffee purchases to include travel mugs (they were offering them for half off).

Happy Valentine's Day honey, here's some discounted chocolates and a plastic coffee cup

I may sound bitter, but I swear, I'm really not at all. I'm terrible with flowers. TERRIBLE! I'm like the Black Dahlia of the gardening world where all living plants come to die a slow, torturous death (luckily I'm better with children, right?) And I don't wear jewelry, other than my wedding ring and my plain silver hoop earrings that I bought at Target for five bucks many (many) years ago. Romantic trips are out too because, well, do I even need to say it? We have four young kids still living at home.  

There is one teeny tiny little thing that I wish my husband would do that doesn't even cost any money, and I've hinted at it so many times that I've honestly just given up at this point. And that's okay. I know there are several things on his list that I've neglected, despite him nagging at me, so we're even, and that my friends is marriage. It's a compromise, and there are lots of good days and bad days, and many in between, just okay days. He shows his love in many other ways, as he's an amazing father and provider (hello, the poor man works his tail off so his wife can stay home with their 10,000 kids) and he does lots of little things for me that I probably take for granted and don't even recognize half the time. For example, sometimes he'll pick up little items for me on his lunch break, like a new pair of shoes, a pair of pj's, a dessert he knows I like, etc. He grabs our favorite vegan chicken strips at Trader Joes which we consume late at night after the kids are in bed, sometimes even with wine! Bonus! 

I don't need a dozen roses or a fancy box of chocolates to know that he loves me and is committed to our family. In fact, tonight we're actually celebrating V-Day as a family, which we've also done in previous years, and those are always my favorite Valentine memories to be perfectly honest. The kids will only be with us for so many years and once they're gone we'll have many years of intimate dinners and weekend getaways.  So for now it's quick trips to Safeway for discounted chocolates and plastic coffee cups. But hey, for dinner we're having cheese fondue (I make the best cheese fondue by the way), along with some chocolate fondue for dessert.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful, amazing, love filled Valentine's Day.  And if you're not having a wonderful, magical V-Day, let me leave you with this little fun filled image.....once I finish posting this, I will be heading back to my bathroom to continue scraping the stuck on, sticky icky Amoxicillin which spilled out all over my drawer, ruining what little make up I owned (it's a sign that I should never wear make up), with a butter knife. 

You're welcome.

My take on Triscuits and toilets and whatever else pops into my twisted head

A Triscuit, a tasket, my stomach looks like I swallowed a bread basket.  The other day while cruising down the aisles of Winco, I noticed that the crackers were on sale.  I'm not a cracker person.  Of course that doesn't mean that I don't occasionally eat them.  For those of you who were lucky enough to catch my Facebook status the other day, there was plenty of mortification (I don't think that's a real word but i'm going with it), when I mentioned that for breakfast I ate brown rice crackers, topped with barbecue sauce and blue cheese crumbles.  I'd be lying if I said that I kind of want to go back to the store and buy more blue cheese crumbles so I could eat it again.

Anyways, back to the cracker aisle moment.  I was planning on buying some basic crackers for the kids when I stumbled upon Brown Rice and Sweet Potato Triscuits.  I picked it up, examined the box, then put it back. "We don't need these" I chanted to myself over and over.  I started to leave the cracker aisle, but those suckers lured me back.  I love Triscuits (one of the few crackers I actually like) and I love sweet potato, so this sounded like a match made in cracker Heaven!

When I got home I tore open the box.  It was Peanut's fault. He handed me the box and said, "Pwease momma can I have one?  It will be happy in my tummy."  How can I argue with that?  Holy adorable toddler moment! Anyways, after handing one over to Peanut, I excitedly took one out of the box (hey, I have five kids, this IS an exciting moment, okay?) It was Triscuity and wheaty, but very hard as if it had popped a Viagra and had a 48 hour erection.  It was also kind of weird.  I can't explain it, but I was convinced that I didn't like them and I was mad that I had wasted $1.50 on them.  However, before I knew it, I had consumed half the box.  Apparently they weren't that bad because they are almost gone.  Would I buy them again?  Probably not.  I'll stick with the original.  But hey, I bet you feel a whole lot smarter and wiser after reading this, right?

In other news, my toilet looks like something from The Ring. I'm still waiting for a creepy, black haired girl to pop out and make the O face.

I've also decided that douchebuckets who pull out in front of you as if their balls are on fire and then as soon as they get in front of you decide to drive 10-15 miles under the posted speed limit should be branded with a scarlet letter.  I vote D for douchenozzle.

My husband took my new MacBook Pro to work today.  I've had it for a little over a week now and I didn't realize just how addicted I had become until he mentioned that he needed it and I felt like running to the bathroom to throw up.  Why couldn't he just leave the MacBook and take the kids to work?  I could handle a day without children, but the MacBook? NOOOOOOO!

Today after dropping off the older kids at school, I told the boys we were taking a trip to Dutch Bros. I needed something to make me feel better about my missing laptop.  On the way to DB, Peanut asked, "Momma, are you going to the doctor?" He's a smart kid because a mocha at Dutch Bros is pretty much a trip to the doctor and getting handed the best prescription drug out there. Anyways, i'm going to go enjoy my white chocolate caramel mocha from Dutch Bros.  It's happy in my tummy.