Valentine Schmalentines

I apologize for not posting every day like I promised. I haven't been in a very good place lately. I don't know if it's winter depression, or maybe some leftover, residual post partum depression or what, but I've been down and out and just blah about everything. The motivation has been sucked out of me like a vacuum and all I really want to do is pull the covers over my head and sleep (which can't and wont happen because I have a hyperactive ten month old who is now taking steps on his own).

So, it wasn't really any big surprise that I would be blah about this year's Valentines Day as well.  Not that I was ever really all that excited over it. I'll admit, I'm not very romantic. In fact I'm pretty dude-like in many aspects. If you absolutely must have an example, I just finished clipping my toenails on the couch and then I stuffed my face with nachos (after going on a taco binge earlier today). The sexiness is just radiating out of me today so ladies hide yo men!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for those of you who have cheesy, romantic, flower filled, gushy Hallmark card holidays. Everyone should feel loved and appreciated, and just because I'm having a woe is me, poopy flavored lollipop of a year, doesn't mean that everyone should suffer (although I hope you all choke on your chocolates....KIDDING.....I choked on a Mexican pizza many years ago at Los Dos Amigos and it was pretty damn terrifying). 

My husband isn't much better. If it were up to him holidays wouldn't even exist at all.  Yes, it's true, he was super duper romantic on our first Valentine's Day, but let's just say that over the years it's just sort of become another day for us on the calendar.  Last night we had to run to Safeway so while we were out we grabbed a box of chocolates that were on clearance and then upgraded our coffee purchases to include travel mugs (they were offering them for half off).

Happy Valentine's Day honey, here's some discounted chocolates and a plastic coffee cup

I may sound bitter, but I swear, I'm really not at all. I'm terrible with flowers. TERRIBLE! I'm like the Black Dahlia of the gardening world where all living plants come to die a slow, torturous death (luckily I'm better with children, right?) And I don't wear jewelry, other than my wedding ring and my plain silver hoop earrings that I bought at Target for five bucks many (many) years ago. Romantic trips are out too because, well, do I even need to say it? We have four young kids still living at home.  

There is one teeny tiny little thing that I wish my husband would do that doesn't even cost any money, and I've hinted at it so many times that I've honestly just given up at this point. And that's okay. I know there are several things on his list that I've neglected, despite him nagging at me, so we're even, and that my friends is marriage. It's a compromise, and there are lots of good days and bad days, and many in between, just okay days. He shows his love in many other ways, as he's an amazing father and provider (hello, the poor man works his tail off so his wife can stay home with their 10,000 kids) and he does lots of little things for me that I probably take for granted and don't even recognize half the time. For example, sometimes he'll pick up little items for me on his lunch break, like a new pair of shoes, a pair of pj's, a dessert he knows I like, etc. He grabs our favorite vegan chicken strips at Trader Joes which we consume late at night after the kids are in bed, sometimes even with wine! Bonus! 

I don't need a dozen roses or a fancy box of chocolates to know that he loves me and is committed to our family. In fact, tonight we're actually celebrating V-Day as a family, which we've also done in previous years, and those are always my favorite Valentine memories to be perfectly honest. The kids will only be with us for so many years and once they're gone we'll have many years of intimate dinners and weekend getaways.  So for now it's quick trips to Safeway for discounted chocolates and plastic coffee cups. But hey, for dinner we're having cheese fondue (I make the best cheese fondue by the way), along with some chocolate fondue for dessert.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful, amazing, love filled Valentine's Day.  And if you're not having a wonderful, magical V-Day, let me leave you with this little fun filled image.....once I finish posting this, I will be heading back to my bathroom to continue scraping the stuck on, sticky icky Amoxicillin which spilled out all over my drawer, ruining what little make up I owned (it's a sign that I should never wear make up), with a butter knife. 

You're welcome.

Pinterest parent I am not, but I apparently gave birth to one

Please tell me when did it stop being cool to bring those little store bought Valentine cards to school? When did V-Day become a "I can create the most unique contraption to hold a heart shaped chocolate candy in the entire universe" day?  I'll tell you when….PINTEREST!

Now, not only are store bought cards uncool, but i'm seriously expected to spend my precious kid free evenings slaving over a hot stove cooking gluten free play dough that I then have to transform into hearts and package in an equally creative way? Or perhaps I should spend my time melting the multiple crayons that are stuffed inside of my filthy couch and make little crayon shaped cupids or hearts or better yet my hand flipping the middle finger!

When I was a kid everyone brought the store bought cards with popular TV inspired characters on them. Today they probably have Spongebob or that super barfy Dora the Explorer on them, but back in the day we had Snoopy, Ninja Turtles, Rainbow Brite and He-Man (because we were cool).  I don't know about you, but I turned into Inspector Gadget with my cards. I would take my gigantically awkward, heart-shaped card holder that was made in class a few days prior home, and then separate my cards into specific piles.  You know the piles…cards from close friends, cards from teachers, cards from boys (the most important pile), and then the rest of them. I would examine the cards from the boys with a fine tooth comb. If the cards had anything even semi-romantic on them, I was convinced that they wanted to marry me and have my future babies. Okay, i'm joking about the babies, but it's hilarious how I could twist and turn something as innocent as "You're neat" into "He loves me".  Yeah.

If you're one of those super crafty, Pinterester parents who can turn a piece of a broken beer bottle into a beautiful swan, then please don't take offense to this post. I'm secretly jealous of you. I am. I just miss the simpler days. The days when it was perfectly okay to send your kid to school with a store bought Spiderman card and that was enough. In fact, that was the norm!

Last night I was doing some shopping with the hubby and I realized it was the 11th and I started to panic a little.  It's totally our style to wait until the absolute last minute for everything, so I grabbed whatever box of store bought Valentine's were left on the nearly empty Walmart shelf.  I got home and handed them over to my 8 year old daughter, but to my surprise she looked at me and said, "I don't need these mom, I already made my own"

Holy poop. Did I give birth to a future Pinterester or what?

So, i've decided i'm returning my crappy store bought cards, and signing myself up for some artsy fartsy classes at Michael's so that someday when it's my future grandchild's first birthday, she will give me a more important role in the party planning other than, "Mom, why don't you just bring the Cheetos and we'll call it good."