Showing posts with label mom blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom blogger. Show all posts

Thursday, November 3, 2016

My response to being called the "Worst mom in America"

*This post is in response to this lovely little article written by someone at NYDN who most likely didn't even read my original post.

Hi there!  We haven't been formally introduced yet. My name is Kristen, and according to you, I'm the "Worst mom in America."  Which I have to tell you, as a mother of six, I've heard it many times before.  You see, I've raised two teenagers, and teens tend to say these kinds of things a lot, typically while rolling their eyes and slamming their bedroom door in your face because you dared to say no to some entirely inappropriate request like, "Can I stay out until midnight on a school night?"

Since you're the professional writer, and I'm just a lowly mommy blogger, I hope you don't mind that I'm offering some assistance in pointing out the many inaccuracies in your article, since you seemed to really struggle to gather the actual facts in my post.

1) The photo of the name tags.  You pointed out that I took a picture of the name tags of the party guests who were invited. I didn't. Those were actually "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" character names, so I'm guessing you haven't actually read the series since you failed to recognize any of their names. I bet you feel slightly embarrassed over this little blunder, but it's okay. M said he's more than happy to mail you a copy of one of his DOAWK books so you can familiarize yourself with the characters. He's a very generous little boy.

This was a picture of a GAME we found online.
These are DOAWK characters, not actual party guests

2) The photo of the "uneaten cake" which I'm assuming you think we left sitting alone on the table to collect cake dust?  Lots of moms take photos of the cake before it's hacked up into millions of pieces. I paid good money for that custom cake topper, and darn it, I wanted a photo!  And OF COURSE we ate the cake!!! Did you miss the part where I said I have a four kids living at home? The kids were waiting to tear into that poor unsuspecting cake the second I set it down on the counter. We demolished that cake as soon as we finished eating pizza, and whatever small amount was leftover got eaten for breakfast the following morning (since I'm the worst mom in America, I might as well defend my title).

This photo was taken a couple of hours BEFORE the party. 
Then it got eaten. And M would be proud to be 
compared to the Wimpy Kid on the cake (his name is Greg Heffley by the way) as you so rudely stated in your article

3) The goody bags that we "laid out to horrify our son".  Again, another fatal error in your fact checking here. M set the table BEFORE the party. He wanted it to look nice, and I think he did a pretty good job of setting the table for a nine year old.  I wish he had the same enthusiasm for setting the table at dinner time, but that's a whole other topic.  The empty spaces were promptly filled in by family members, as you can see in this photo here:


4) "And then made him stand there, alone, until the garbagemen came."

How many times do I have to say it?  All of the photos of him posing alone were taken BEFORE the party. The only photo that was taken after the party fiasco was of him at the bowling alley.  And I made him stand there alone?  Pffffft. I only wish I had that kind of power over my kids!!

So this brings me back to your first paragraph when you insinuate (no rather accuse) my husband and I of setting all of this up so we "get clicks".  People can click on my blog until the cows come home, but I didn't have a single ad running on my blog when this story went viral (nor do I now for that matter).  If I had really set all of this up to "get clicks", wouldn't I have had my blog loaded up with ads so that I was getting paid while my blog was getting millions of hits a day? I do find it slightly ironic that you're hinting I did this all for the money and fame, considering you're the one who gets paid to write and is most likely profiting off of my story, but i'll let that one slide for now.

And, you're also claiming I did this for a book deal? Please! I barely have the time to fill out my children's reading logs every night, so it may be awhile before I can get that book written. Maybe in fifteen to twenty years, if raising all of these kids hasn't killed me by then. I tell you what, if I do ever write that book, I'll be sure to send you my first copy free of charge, but media mail of course. I'm a mom on a budget.

FYI, I've already been published in a couple of books, one a NYT best seller, I Just Want to Pee Alone  *Insert shameless book plug here since I'm honored to be included in two hilariously witty humor anthologies.

The notion that we had this master plan to set all of this up to exploit our son for fame is pretty hysterical. If any single one of those photos had been staged, they would've looked a heck of a lot more professional than they did.  My husband works in the film industry and he's a pretty talented guy. He does commercial work for major companies, and can do it all from photography to videography, editing, directing, etc. He was actually mortified that I dared to put my dark, unedited, crappy cell phone pics on my blog because he can't help but look at a photo and critique it. It's his job and he's brilliant at it.  So trust me, if the photos had been staged, they would've come from him and they would've been much more professional looking.

Here's what my little post did for M, since you're so concerned for his well being, enough that you even poked fun at him and the entire "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" fan base by saying M is the wimpy kid on the cake (which isn't even an insult for DOAWK fans by the way).

The most amazing thing that has come out of this story, is that our little boy has found his voice. He went from a shy, not so sure of himself third grader, to this incredibly confident child who beams with pride. He was interviewed by the local news last night, and I've never been so proud of my son as I was last night.  He was humble and appreciative and wanted to make sure and "Give a shout out to all of America".  The world could use a lot more Mahlon's and a lot less of people like yourself.

Throughout all of this, he learned that despite sadness and disappointment, there is also a lot of good in this world, and that kindness and compassion do exist.  He's connecting with so many other children from all over the world who relate to him and they are even becoming pen pals.  He's researching different charity options, so that he can pay it forward to other children in need. Many of the gifts we received will be headed to charity.

I think people are so fascinated by our story and drawn to our son because he's a good kid who represents hope and resilience. His sweet innocent face also serves as an important reminder that people should be more aware of how they respond to an invitation. M isn't curled up into a ball,  crying and feeling sorry for himself, and my post definitely didn't devastate or humiliate him as some people like yourself are saying. You want to know what really humiliates my children? Their mom standing at the bus stop with dried spit up on her stretch pants. Yes, that really happened, two days in a row actually.

Oh no she didn't! Oooops, she did!  

And yes, of course I was devastated for my son when no one showed up and he was crying and upset. Excuse me for saying this, but what a stupid thing to say! We were all upset for M, even his older sister who isn't very sympathetic.  You really honestly believe that only M was devastated over no one showing up to his party?  I have to question your loyalty as a parent because any parent I know, would've been devastated to see their child in tears.

I wrote my post for my blog readers because that's what I do. I'm a blogger. A terrible, untalented, stretch marked, evil mommy blogger, but nonetheless a blogger who writes when something strikes me as funny, sad, emotional, scary, etc. What poured out of my heart and soul when I wrote my piece was pure, raw emotion from deep inside that place that only a mother knows. A mother who was deeply hurting for her precious son because she simply wanted him to enjoy a special day with his friends, and he didn't get to do that. I wasn't expecting anyone to read it, and I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to reach out like they did. We are completely blown away by the outpouring of love and support that our family has received and it has changed our lives forever. Not because we're searching for fame (because we're most definitely not) but it's changed our entire perspective, and given us a new lease on life. Our lives have been changed for the better because we now have hope and faith in humanity, and you can't put a price tag on either of those things my friend.

Sincerely,
Kristen P. Layne
AKA "The Worst Mom in America"

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Six Months

In just six short little months, our lives have become almost unrecognizable. As you already know, we had a beautiful, chubby, baby boy in March.  In July we packed up and moved the fam from Portland to our dream location.  My husband found an amazing new job in his field, and we were extremely fortunate to find a rental house right away. I should mention that finding a rental or even a house to buy in this very desirable tourist town is like an episode of Survivor. People will straight up cut you to be the first one in line at an open house!  Unfortunately our two oldest kids (who are technically grown now but they'll always be kids to me), decided to stay back in Portland, so we're now a teeny tiny little family of six. You're probably thinking that means we're going to have more kids, but I can assure you that there will definitely be no more kids in the Peanut Layne household. My husband finally got fixed a few months ago (I know, I know, took him long enough, right?) but that will be in a separate post called, "Bringing four kids to my husband's vasectomy" so keep an eye out for that one.
 
Goodbye Concrete Jungle
Hello Beautiful Desert!

My boys are no longer home-schooled. That's right ya'll! I retired my role as a teacher and sent my boys off to public school in September.

First Day of School
 And you know what? They absolutely love it! I had so many fears, panic attacks leading up to the first day of school such as:

Will my youngest be able to wipe his own butt?
Will they get lost heading from the bus to classroom?
Will they say something off the wall and crazy that only home-schooled kids would say?

Okay who am I kidding?

Will they repeat things that they heard their dear old mom say?

But so far they adore their new school and are already making friends. And I adore the fact that from 8:30-3:30 pm, my house is strangely quiet and i'm getting lots of one on one time with Seanie Mac. Speaking of Seanie Mac, he recently cut two new baby teeth, is recovering from his first cold, is eating baby food twice a day, and weighs more than a baby elephant. No, seriously, this kid is HUGE! He's 21 pounds and about 28 inches long, wearing a size 5 diaper and 12-18-24 month clothes. And my arms totally look like Popeye arms from carrying him around the house, but muscles are in so that's good, right?

My Big Bald Cutie Patootie 
 It's funny but I never realized just how unhappy I was until we moved and I was forced to make some major changes in my life.  Before we moved I was in a rut. I was lonely, bored, and miserable, but after nearly seven years in the city, I began to think that my life was as good as it was going to get.  But, I was so very wrong.

It's incredible how a simple change in scenery, putting the boys in school, forcing myself to get out of the house and make some friends, and finally returning to my blog and writing again, is helping me slowly find my way back to myself.  

And boy oh boy, do we have some amazing scenery here! It really does take some effort to be unhappy here.  People are so ridiculously friendly and one simply cannot go anywhere without having a conversation with someone. The cashier will definitely ask you questions about your day, and then proceed to give you a brief synopsis of their entire life story (sometimes complete with medical history).  I found this a little odd at first as I was rarely spoken to in Portland except a quick and forced, "Hi, did you find everything okay?" My big city attitude is slowly disappearing, along with the heavy traffic anxiety induced road rage. I think i've only flipped the bird once in the three months that we've lived here (okay twice) and that's a big improvement from my previous finger flipping numbers.

It's Easy to Love Where You Live
When You Live Here



And before you roll your eyes and think i'm living a Pinterest perfect life or something, i'm still not, nor will I ever be. This morning I woke up to my middle son screaming, "MOM, HELP" at the top of his lungs. As I dashed out of bed, nearly breaking a toe on the door frame in the process, I entered the bathroom just in time to see the clogged, poopy filled toilet, cascade out of the toilet bowl and all over my used to be clean floor.  So yeah, you're very welcome for that mental picture (I apologize if you were eating a sandwich or something). Instead of getting my boys picture ready for picture day (insert groan here), I was lecturing them on their excessive use of toilet paper, throwing towels down all over the floor to absorb the poop water, and Febreezing my bathroom.  Yes, some things will never change my friends.