Wednesday, May 15, 2013

You know you have a lot of kids when...

I love having a larger than average family.  However, some days I have that, "Oh my geez, we have a lot of kids" feeling. I grew up with just one younger brother. One sib! We each got our own row in the minivan. My kids are practically seated on top of each other. Who needs car seats when you have older siblings to help hold you down? I'm totally kidding, so please save your hate mail if you're one of those car seat nazis.

If you think you might have a lot of kids, but you aren't sure, this is an easy check list. If you find yourself answering yes to most or all of them, then yes, you're right there with me sister. I must note that as a mom to lots of kids, it's okay for me to make fun of myself, but we moms of many don't particularly care for others who poke fun at us. So here I go...

You know you have a lot of kids when:

*You go through a loaf of bread in one day. We buy a loaf of bread for each day of the week. You can say we go through more bread than underwear. No Atkins dieters in this house. Sandwiches are a staple. My kids will probably grow up and loathe peanut butter and jelly.

*Your grocery bill costs more than your monthly mortgage payment. Forget about Cheers where everybody knows your name at the local bar. You get the same reaction when you walk through the front entrance of Winco. Despite making a weekly list and checking it twice, you always run out of something (toothpaste, toilet paper, Advil, etc). Winco becomes your home away from home. You could grocery shop and sleep walk. Not a bad idea actually.

*You have no inside voice. Yelling is the new whisper. Okay, so maybe Mrs. Duggar has that super sweet, "Come on kids. Let's go outside and enjoy the daisies" kind of a voice, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she's raised her voice at least once and said, "Come on kids. Get your arses out the door NOW or this bus is leaving without you."

*Your kids couldn't tell you what a leftover is. Food gets eaten, even if it's something the kids don't particularly like all that much. That's not to say we don't have enough food to eat, because we do, but leftovers just don't exist.  Let's just say we have no need for a dog. My 16 year old son does a good enough job of cleaning everyone's plates.

*You don't have an extra seat in your minivan which means you are unable to transport other people's children around. Rats, rats, rats.

*It's cheaper to just buy a yearly membership to the zoo, aquarium, museum, or pretty much any place that offers family memberships. In one visit you've pretty much paid the damn thing off.  And forget about eating in the overpriced cafes that are on site. Your kids know you aren't buying $10 pre-frozen hamburgers and $5 sodas for everyone. We save that kind of financial rapage for Disneyland.

*This brings me to fast food restaurants. A trip to McD's for our clan, can easily cost a small fortune. Add in Redbox rentals for everyone and you probably could've sent your youngest to college.

*You keep all of your baby stuff stored in the garage. You aren't planning on having anymore kids, but you know darn well the second you drop that stuff off at Goodwill, two parallel lines will soon follow. You will keep that damn Rainforest swing in your garage until the day you die, or at least until your mid 80's when you're pretty confident that your ovaries have dried up like raisins and have fallen out in your Depends.

*You will never ever own a family photo where everyone is looking at the camera and smiling. Never.
*If you have a large family and want to add to my list, send it to me and i'll add you to the list along with a link to your blog (or Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, whatever).



18 comments:

  1. Yes, yes, yes, yes....dammit, yes to all!!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•`¤... Jennifer
    Jenn's Random Scraps

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  2. I love this post. So much. I get it. LOL

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  3. We have four kids and I find myself answering yes to most of it! We go through toilet paper and shampoo like crazy too. Love having a crazy house though and wouldn't change it for anything!

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  4. I only have 2 and I think I will just live vicariously through you. You entertain me with every post! I too hold onto all the baby stuff though because you're right it's Murphy's law.

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  5. funny post...we are a family of 5 and i think thats big :)

    Claudia @ www.prettylittledahlia.com

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  6. "when you're pretty confident that your ovaries have dried up like raisins and have fallen out in your Depends." HAHAHA, Yeeeessss. Funny stuff. I only have two right now, but we've always wanted a big family. However, this post gives me pause. LOL

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  7. Crazy cakes ... one loaf for each day of the week?

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    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  8. WE only have three and yes, yes, YES. Also - all vacations must be within driving distance. Money for 5 round-trip tickets? HAH!

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  9. Awesome list. And I adore the family photo - priceless!

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  10. And add to that list laundry!! Its a never ending project, every Time i See the empty hampers, two hours later they are halfway full again..jajajaja!! Great post

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  11. And add to that list the never ending laundry! I have three girls And it seems like buy detergent at least twice a month, plus it never seems to get finished, when i think i'm Done And the hamper is empty i turn around and its halfway full again..lol!!! Great post, i totally said yes o Most of them.

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  12. I can just imagine! I only have three and yet I can relate to so much of this!

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  13. this was really cute, we are a family of three and the total opposite...wel except with the bread and milk...I swear our 4year old can EAT. I enjoyed reading this.

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  14. great post, I have four kids so YES!

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  15. Totally!!! Especially the Family Photo (yours is gorgeous by the way). I wrote a similar post recently, take your pick!

    http://www.realisticmom.com/2013/03/things-that-happen-when-you-have-6-kids.html

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  16. Totally!! Especially the Family Photo one (yours is gorgeous by the way). I wrote a similar post recently. Take your pick!

    http://www.realisticmom.com/2013/03/things-that-happen-when-you-have-6-kids.html

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  17. " You will keep that damn Rainforest swing in your garage until the day you die"

    hahahaha! I know the feeling. I have a portable swing and a full size swing stashed in a closet. Can't. Let. Go.

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  18. Minivan? - We didn't have extra room in our full size van (10 kids)! This is all SO true, and then some. Leftovers - funny idea - certainly never had any of those even though I was quadrupling every recipe. Two cakes for every birthday so we could have more than one piece. Great fun and good times!

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