Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Why some people (me) shouldn't wear make up

I've been feeling a little down in the dumps about my looks lately. I don't take care of myself. I do bathe daily, but other than that, I don't do anything to help myself out in the glamour/fashion department. I wear ugly pajamas that would probably get me arrested for indecent exposure if I wore them out in public (which I don't, except if you count dropping off and picking up kids but I don't get out of the car for that...although I totally should). My hair has gotten crazy long and a bit out of control, yet I do nothing to it except pull it back.  I never wear make up. I guess I've just gotten lazy.  I've gained a lot of weight and have like two pairs of pants that fit and I hate them both, and when you don't feel confident in what you're wearing, you just kinda stop trying or caring. 

Recently I decided to do something nice for myself and ordered some mineral make up. I used to wear it years ago, but ran out and just never ordered more (which is seriously the last time I probably wore any).  Today I needed to run a few errands so I put on my ugly clothes (haven't had a chance to do anything about those yet), put my long, boring hair in a ponytail (shut up), and was ready to walk out of my bathroom when a little voice in my head said, "Maybe you should put on some make up".   

So that's exactly what I did. 

It's a three step process so there is a concealer, the light foundation in the palest color possible (sadly I'm whiter than my toilet paper), and finally the blush.  

I thought that I had put on the foundation and started to reach for the blush to finish off the job, when I glanced at myself in the mirror and freaked the f@$k out. 

I looked like this....
My face was purple. PURPLE!!!!  I looked like Barney or Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Somehow Harold had snuck into my bathroom and colored all over my face with his damn purple crayon! 

I was about two seconds away from sitting down at my MacBook to write a super nasty complaint to my Ebay seller about how their foundation turned me into a purple people eater (yes, I'm too cheap to order it from an actual company), when I noticed the words "Sweet Cheeks" on the lid. I had covered my entire face with BLUSH instead of the foundation.  Cause I'm a genius. 

After realizing my blunder, I needed to get the purple off so I started to scrub. I wasn't purple anymore, but I now looked like this....
My face is now a deep shade of maroon from being scrubbed really hard, and I look like I have a fever/flesh eating virus. I'm about to head out to go shopping and I'm feeling super sexy. I may even frighten some small children. I'm so glad I decided to buy some make up to help me build my self confidence back.  Best decision ever. 


  1. LOL! Sounds like something that would happen to me. The good news is, it makes a great blog story!

  2. I wish I showered daily, but I'm doing good to get in 2-3 a week. I have a 3 year old that demands to get in the shower with me (I'm pregnant with twins so space in there is already quite tight), & a 20 month old that fusses at the door the whole time. Not pleasant, so I just avoid it until I can't stand myself anymore. Sometimes I do a quick spot-clean (you know, pits & crevices) just to feel somewhat accomplished. I wear makeup to church on Sunday morning, & feel like a kid just learning to play in mom's makeup once I see myself in the mirror in the church bathroom. I looked great in my bathroom at home! I was already overweight & lumpy before I got knocked up again, but had lost a little bit of it (not that it helped much with clothing). Now, I just have a more pronounced gut. All that to say, I feel your pain. Now, get you some decent pants, & I hope it builds up your self-esteem enough to begin getting back out of the house!

  3. This post just had me laughing out loud at work. You are hysterical! And it totally sounds like something I would do. I hear you about the crazy long, no-style hair, and the ill-fitting pants. My sister and I just started a little family biggest loser competition so I can try to fit into my better clothes. And I REALLY need to make an appointment for a haircut. The only thing I do is wear make-up everyday. If I don't, people stop me and ask me if everything is okay. Apparently, I'm not a natural beauty. ;) So, try again, tomorrow. You'll feel better about yourself (as long as you don't look like Barney the Dinosaur, again)!
    Great post!

  4. I loved the post.
    Even I disagree with the term make up, but one is drawn to beautify oneself to be accepted by society. And cosmetology made a business out of it. cosmetics care

  5. Wore my new dress at a wedding and received a lot of compliments for it. Beautiful dress for a beautiful girl they say :-). It fits perfectly and looks good on me.


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