I've been feeling a little down in the dumps about my looks lately. I don't take care of myself. I do bathe daily, but other than that, I don't do anything to help myself out in the glamour/fashion department. I wear ugly pajamas that would probably get me arrested for indecent exposure if I wore them out in public (which I don't, except if you count dropping off and picking up kids but I don't get out of the car for that...although I totally should). My hair has gotten crazy long and a bit out of control, yet I do nothing to it except pull it back. I never wear make up. I guess i've just gotten lazy. I've gained a lot of weight and have like two pairs of pants that fit and I hate them both, and when you don't feel confident in what you're wearing, you just kinda stop trying or caring.
Recently I decided to do something nice for myself and ordered some mineral make up. I used to wear it years ago, but ran out and just never ordered more (which is seriously the last time I probably wore any). Today I needed to run a few errands so I put on my ugly clothes (haven't had a chance to do anything about those yet), put my long, boring hair in a ponytail (shut up), and was ready to walk out of my bathroom when a little voice in my head said, "Maybe you should put on some make up".
So that's exactly what I did.
It's a three step process so there is a concealer, the light foundation in the palest color possible (sadly i'm whiter than my toilet paper), and finally the blush.
I thought that I had put on the foundation and started to reach for the blush to finish off the job, when I glanced at myself in the mirror and freaked the f@$k out.
I looked like this....
My face was purple. PURPLE!!!! I looked like Barney or Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Somehow Harold had snuck into my bathroom and colored all over my face with his damn purple crayon!
I was about two seconds away from sitting down on my MacBook to write a super nasty complaint to my Ebay seller about how their foundation turned me into a purple people eater (yes, i'm too cheap to order it from an actual company), when I noticed the words "Sweet Cheeks" on the lid. I had covered my entire face with BLUSH instead of the foundation. Cause i'm a genius.
After realizing my blunder, I needed to get the purple off so I started to scrub. I wasn't purple anymore, but I now looked like this....
My face is now a deep shade of maroon from being scrubbed really hard, and I look like I have a fever/flesh eating virus. I'm about to head out to go shopping and i'm feeling super sexy. I may even frighten some small children. I'm so glad I decided to buy some make up to help me build my self confidence back. Best decision ever.