The in-laws are coming

Kind of like the sky is falling, the sky is falling, i'm sitting here screaming, "Oh my GAWD the in-laws are coming!!!"

They are due to arrive either Thursday or Friday from out of state.  One would think we would know when they were actually scheduled to arrive, right?  Well, they told my husband their travel plans and whenever I ask the hubby when they are coming he shrugs and says, "I don't know. Friday. Or Thursday. Or maybe Friday. I'm not sure."   When his grandparents came to stay with us for a week from Vegas, we were literally sitting down eating dinner on a Tuesday (convinced they were coming on Thursday) when the door bell rang at 7 pm and standing at the door were his grandparents, with bags in hand.  It was one of those nightmare comes true situations where your house is in shambles and you have nothing in your fridge except an old container of margarine, a half empty gallon of milk and something furry in the cheese drawer because you were preparing to do a massive pre-company grocery run.

I enjoy my in-laws visits but I seriously get a little sick to my stomach when I know they are going to be stepping foot inside of my home.  They are neat freaks.  I know everyone thinks they know a neat freak, but seriously they are OCD clean.  As in their shower tiles (and grout) are so flipping white i'm convinced they never actually use their shower.  I don't even know how you get it that clean other than replacing it with brand new tiles and grout.  My MIL actually lived with us a few years ago.  I learned a lot of things about her like it's pointless to even load the dishwasher because she will come up behind you and completely re-arrange it.  And then there's the panty.  Wowzers, the pantry!  Our pantry was so freaky organized that even my dad came to visit once and was like, "What the hell is up with your pantry?"  Yeah, it was like that old Julia Roberts, Sleeping with the Enemy movie where she opens her cupboards and all of her canned food was stacked with the labels turned a certain way.   My SIL and I would occasionally have fun with her though.  We would mix items from the pantry to see if she noticed and I swear within a few minutes, things were pretty much returned to their original place.

So, yeah, they are coming in a few days and my to-do list is ridiculous.  The bathrooms need cleaned, floors need mopped, carpets need vacuumed, and all the crap organized and put away. Piece of cake when you have five kids and no time to clean, right? Kill me now. I should clarify that my house is far from Hoarders and when you walk in it looks quite clean until you start snooping around.  Yeah, there is lots of deep cleaning that needs to be done and the clock is tick, tick, ticking!

Don't worry this is NOT my house….

THIS is my house

I should be able to get it done by Thurs. No problemo. 

Okay, okay. Neither of these pics are my house and that was a very BAD joke and very insensitive to people who hoard. Save your hate mail. Unless your in-laws are coming to visit, I don't want to hear it.  I get a "My in-laws are coming so I can be offensive" pass for the week. Or month. Or year. 

Instead of the hate mail, please do send me lots of luck, positive thoughts, and lots of chocolate that I can get it all done.  No, screw the chocolate!  I forgot my MIL tisk, tisks anyone over 100 lbs and i'm the heaviest i've ever been so please no chocolate.  But booze is always welcome.  Yeah, just send that.  Lots of it.  And fast because the in-laws will be here on Thursday.  Or Friday.  Or maybe on Thursday.