Monday, November 12, 2012

Bipolar Christmas

I don't know what's wrong with me (okay aside from the obvious fact that i'm a bit crazy), but every other year I find myself completely, one hundred percent, uninterested in the holidays.  When I say holidays, I'm speaking mostly of Christmas since Thanksgiving to me is nothing more than an excuse for people to get together and stuff their faces with barfy turkey (can you tell I'm not a fan?)  Our Thanksgiving dinner typically consists of Chinese take out, so there are no expensive, fancy outfits to buy, no drinking that needs to be done in preparation to dealing with obnoxious relatives, and no barfy turkey to prepare, so it's basically just another day for our family.

So, yeah, as I said, I have this recurring problem where one year I'm the holiday cheermeister who's eagerly hunting for the perfect Christmas gifts as early as August, and practically foaming at the mouth with excitement to rip down the Halloween decorations the second the kids return from Trick or Treating and transform our home into a Christmas wonderland.  Last year was one of these years.  I annoyed my hubby and children to the brink of insanity by playing non stop Christmas music. Honestly I really just wanted to annoy them in whatever way I could, but seriously, who doesn't like Christmas music? It's the shitnizzle! I harassed my hubby to death about when we were going to put up the tree (we buy real trees in case you're wondering. The only artificial things in this house are my breasts. Kidding! Mine are real and sagging to my knees). Okay, moving on. Perhaps I should change the name of this post to "Bipolar Peanutlayne."  So yeah, last year I baked an endless amount of holiday treats, causing us to each gain ten pounds and need to buy new pants, I blasted Christmas music until my dear hubby became slightly homicidal, I shopped my little heart out on Amazon, and I watched Jingle All the Way so many times that I started talking like Arnold Schwarzenagger in my sleep…"The Turbo Man dolls! They're all gone!"

This year I still have the children's homemade spiders hanging from my chandelier. I have Halloween themed hand towels hanging in my kitchen.  I have no presents purchased. I haven't listened to a single Christmas song yet.  I have no desire to shop, bake, decorate, etc.  I've attempted to watch a couple of my favorite holiday movies, but I just couldn't get into them.  I find myself rolling my eyes during the holiday commercials and I have this really strong urge to flip Santa the bird.

Please someone knock some holiday cheer into me before I turn into this: 

17 comments:

  1. LMAO you crack me up! There's nothing wrong with NOT wanting to eat turkey or wanting to do Thanksgiving ..everyone does it differently and cheers to you but being different! I on the other hand...WISH I could have the typical "tv show/dream" thanksgiving and christmas get together etc...but it NEVER turns out that way...my family unfortunately...does not even know the meaning of "spending time together" it's more like dad on the computer, mom doing her thing and kids in the bedroom...maybe that's why I crave the "ideal" american "idea" of thanksgiving and christmas.... minus the hassle of cooking/cleaning and preparing....

    sadly this year we can't afford it...so screw thanksgiving and christmas...it'll just come and go....

    AHHAA i just realized you asked us to help you NOT be a grinch but I TURNED into one LOL...oh dear....

    cute post <3

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  2. It's ok not to be feeling the holiday spirit; maybe it'll pass-maybe not. All I can say is try not to ruin it for your kids. Maybe once you decorate (if you decide to decorate) you'll feel more festive. I do like your Thanksgiving non-traditional tradition. My husband and I are the same way, but my daughter is over the top and has now gotten into the whole shabang bang and wants to prepare this huge meal. I am still low-carbing it so I really could care less about having all the extra food lying around for days.
    Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

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  3. Hahaha you crack me up, thanks for the laugh! I was anti-holiday last year. A few weeks ago I started seeing Christmas stuff in stores and commercials, and I'm like "really?! Already?! It isn't even Halloween yet! This is ridiculous!" But guess what? This weekend I watched 3 Christmas movies...I can't believe it. I'm actually in the mood for Christmas & I'm totally broke! Haha it's funny how our feelings toward holidays change. I hope you get into the spirit at some point, but don't stress too much, it's only November 12th...you have plenty of time! Be blessed :)

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  4. We all got the stomach flu last Thanksgiving and I ended up feeling miserable til after Christmas. So I am not looking forward to it this year. Even hearing the music makes my tummy churn. Right there with ya sista.

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  5. I hear there's nothing that brings on the Christmas cheer more than a belly full of Chinese food . . .

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  6. Awww:( I get it. I've had years where i am totally not feeling it and it even makes me angry. Maybe it will come to you!!! Last year was really tough losing my best friend to cancer, it was hard to shop, decorate, bake - everything reminded me of her because we did so much together...i felt like i was just going through the motions for my kids. Anyway, good luck to ya - you know i'm feeling it again this year:) (((hugs)))

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  7. Normally I'm totally into the spirit of the holidays, but this year I'm feeling a little grinchy because we are dealing with so much family drama lately (in-laws, sigh...)--I'd rather just hole up at home with my OWN family and stuff my face with pumpkin pie....

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  8. I only celebrate Thanksgiving because it's an excuse to eat Pumpkin Pie. Ditto for Christmas, although my kids like the whole gift part...

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  9. I think most of us "normal" people are a bit schizo about holidays and the extra long list of additional shi*t that we're expected to accomplish outside of the regular exhausting day-to-day malarky. We're moms. Nothing is easy for us, and fun is never free without assloads of additional planning and prep. You're allowed. We're all allowed. I never in my life expected to actually consider whether or not we'd put up a Christmas Tree. Bah Humbug to us all and to all a good night ;)

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  10. Everybody needs a holiday vacay once every few years... Hie thee to a beach and blow everybody off!

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  11. Chinese takeout sounds like a perfect plan!! I am only reminded to take action on Christmas by my two kids...about 200 times a week!!

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  12. Hey there. New follower from the link up! Excited to participate! Love your background (actually went to the site to see if i could find a cute one! lol) And this is the first year that I have decided I am not buying presents etc. I mean the little kids will get ONE EACH because thats part of what makes your childhood but my adult friends and family will all simply get some Christmas cheer lol.

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  13. For some reason it feels like everything is happening REALLY early this year! Christmas music has already taken over one of our local radio stations...Black Friday starts on Black Friday eve now...my goodness we can't even let our "barfy turkey" dinner digest? I just want to take my time through this "most wonderful season of all"...perhaps by December you will be ready for it too! Found you from the link up you are hosting this week...and hey! We've got one going on now too if you want to stop over to the #MTMmixer!

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  14. Hi, I found you through Heather on the Friendly Friday Link up. The description of your blog is hilarious. I am excited to read more:) Thanks for hosting!

    xo
    Angela

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  15. Hi there! Just joined your hop and your blog on GFC. I'm totally NEW at this! Could use a few followers! I will follow you on twitter as well. You can follow me back at: http://lifeinthesimpleln.blogspot.com
    Thanks!

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  16. ha! for me the chipmunk-esk christmas music and movies drive me over the edge ... but the old crooners ... well now we're talking. or how about a great old movie like Topper or Bringing up Baby ... that always does it for me. But who am I kidding. I haven't bought one christmas gift yet this year. will likely be last minute on amazon with notes going out "coming in the mail soon - sorry I missed the official holiday" .... I have a habit of sending our christmas letter in Feb. I mean you gotta take the pics for that letter in Aug, write it by early Oct and get it in the mail by Nov. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for me. Maybe I'll change my mind after a slice of pumpkin pie?

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