Screw You Jetsons
By Tracy Winslow @ http://Momaical.com
Now, trade that out with a mystery illness. It’s like that episode of Go Diego Go when they found the mystery fish. She was lost and didn’t know how to get back to her kin so they had to follow the clues to discover she was a whale shark. Except your clues are like a fucked up treasure hunt of body parts breaking down. And, you don’t have time to go to the doctor’s because you still have those aforementioned kids that want peanut butter sandwiches without the crust but NOT ON THAT BREAD! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT BREAD! And the others are wrestling around and breaking crap. And you’re bitter because it wasn’t supposed to be this way by the time we got to this point in our lives. This was the FUTURE dammit. And the future was supposed to have all this cool stuff in it.
If the Jetsons taught me anything, it was that we are going to have Rosie the Robot to take care of our houses, children, chores, etc. The closest thing we have to that is a Roomba. And, unless you enjoy munching on dust bunnies it does NOT do the job that Rosie would have done. And there is supposed to be a machine that you put your kids through and they come out freshly pressed, fed and sparkling. None of which we have: no automatic dog walkers, no flying cars, no pills that turn into a four course meal. Which is crap, Jetsons. Crap.
Since the future did not follow through as promised – I’m taking you back to a time when things were more selfish. More delusional. More narcissistic. Clearly I’m talking about high school. A time when you still believe that Orwell’s prediction about Big Brother was still possible. So, sit back, grab a cough drop and remember how something as silly as a sweater can be an obsession for you.
Feel better soon Ms. Layne. We love you! xoxoxox