Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I love my husband but...

the man needs to go back to work!  J had some extra time off saved up and it was one of those use it or lose it situations so he has been off work since Dec. 19th.  I'm not kidding.  I have come to realize that if my hubby worked from home, we would most likely be divorced.

I long for my typical routine which is where the oldest three kids are at school, my hubby is at work, and it's just me and my baby boys home with me (well okay they aren't babies, they are three and five). I drank lots of coffee, watched lots of girly TV, and spent lots of time on my computer blogging and Twittering.

You may have noticed I haven't been around much.  Or maybe you haven't.  Or maybe you're enjoying the break and are like, "Dang, she's back already?"  Anyways, I blame my hubby for my lack of blogging because all of my bloggy motivation has been sucked out of my brain and I feel like i'm losing brain cells every single minute that he's home.  Seriously, the man has football or UFC blaring at all times.  Not to mention that I missed the opportunity to watch all of my favorite cheesy Christmas movies prior to Christmas because the hubby would walk into the living room, roll his eyes, and say, "Really babe? A Very Brady Christmas?" and then eventually Sports Center somehow ended up making it's way on the TV the very second I got up to pee.  I tried to hold my bladder, I really did, but eventually I had to go and the man was just waiting until I left the room and then BAM! It's a male take over.  I realize men don't typically like cheesy Christmas movies, but if I have to watch one more MMA fight, I might actually put my hubby in a guillotine (if you don't know what that means, consider yourself lucky).

Oh but don't get me wrong, we had some fun times too.  The other day he got a brilliant idea to clean out the garage. Hmmm, let's see, it was a Friday afternoon and cold as balls outside. Standing in the ice box I like to call the garage with frozen snot stuck to my face while J griped and moaned about how we have way too much kid crap was a perfect way to spend my Friday! I mean if I didn't have my dear hubby home to keep me busy, i'd probably be doing something dreadful like watching Roseanne re-runs or wasting time on Twitter.  Thank goodness he's home to keep me occupied!

Finally he has been great at keeping me on my gluten free/dairy free diet.  I especially love his phone calls while he's out:

J: Hey i'm at McDonald's.  Did you want a hot fudge sundae?

Me: Um, babe. I can't eat dairy.

J: So, that's a no then?

Me: That's a no.

J: Okay, well i'll just grab one for me and the kids then.  You sure you don't want me to grab you something?

Me: No, there's nothing I can eat there.

J: There's nothing you can eat here? (As if he's surprised that McDonald's isn't healthy and doesn't have a complete GFCF menu).

Me: NO, there's NOTHING I can eat at McDonald's.

J: Okay, well then i'll be home with food for me and the kids.

Me: Great (followed by pouting and extreme irritation) as I go into the kitchen and eat rice crackers (which taste like hockey pucks) dipped in hummus.

The hubby actually goes back to work tomorrow and i'm sure i'll miss him when he's gone.  That's the part that makes our marriage work though.  I think it's healthy to have some time away from your spouse.  I want to miss him.  I need to miss him.  It's not normal to be together every day for weeks on end with no time apart.  Not normal at all.  Someday when we're old and retired and the kids are gone, maybe things will be different and i'll appreciate the endless days of us just being together for hours on end without a break (or not and we'll be that old couple that none of the nursing assistants want to work with because we're so crabby and difficult).  Until then I will bite my tongue, try to appreciate the last few hours of having my hubby home, and try to drown out the sounds of the Rose Bowl blaring in my living room.


  1. I get this one. I don't have a husband but I do have a young adult children. The oldest boy is ALWAYS around. And he's in and out of his bedroom all day long. Opening his door, going to the fridge - which contains exactly the same food he had no interest in the other eleventybillion times he looked, then he slams the fridge door and goes off to his bedroom and slams that door too.

  2. Hysterical ~ When Brian lost his job last year I thought I was going to jump off a bridge because he was always home!
    Routines are routines and it is so annoying when they get broken!
    Thank God he went back to work about a month ago because I'm not sure how much more I could have handled.

    Happy New Year mama!


  3. I totally know where you are coming from, my hubby has been off since the 21st and goes back tomorrow as well. My biggest gripe though is that him being around totally wonks up my normal routine, I'm not even sure what day it is now LOL.

  4. So funny! My husband has been off since Dec. 21st and I am ready for him to go back to work as well. OH MY WORD! He is driving me bonkers!

  5. When my husband works from home it absolutely kills my day. We have a rhythm and routine here and he throws off the balance. Plus, I want to punch him in the face when he makes comments about how I'm "always on the computer". Listen, if you went IN to work - everything would be accomplished by the time you get home. However, if I choose to do everything 5 minutes before you arrive - that is my call. He also decides we need to drop what we are doing so we can go do something we don't want to - like go look at dirt bike helmets. Thankfully it's not often... But, on the PLUS side - he does the cooking when he's home (which I hate!). So, I guess it all works out. ;)

  6. OMG. I so love this post. I totally get what you are talking about! When my hubby is at home, not only does it throw my routine, it means an exponential amount of cooking. He isnt home that often but when he is- he expects bfast, lunch and dinner. By the end of the day, I actually start looking forward to him going to office. And the commenting about "why are you on the laptop so much" "why are you cleaning so much"..arrgh!!
    P.S: I did miss you posts :)

  7. oh man ... that was my house! except for the football on TV. My husband actually got so P.O.'ed at the cable company for raising our basic cable (yep - just the basics) from $70 a month to $105 ... ok that does piss me off too. But he cut the cord. Cold Turkey. So now the only thing we see is streamed on our tiny little computer screens (News a day late is just not news!). And the best part is that I still have a gi-normous flat panel TV mounted on the wall. Wires in all direction looking all 'operational' but isn't. I'm back in the office today, and sadly ... kinda of glad to get a little time away!

  8. Welcome to my 7th ring of hell. Granted as my husband works permanently from home, it's not like he's sitting around watching tv as yours was on vacation...but the constant being around is rather annoying. I love the days when he has to go out for meetings or I have to go out. When he's out the first thing that goes on is the tv :) I really feel your pain ....

  9. OMG...could I relate! We both work full time, so when we're both home for more than a weekend, sharing the same space and remote control, I start feeling like one of those ladies on the "When Wives Go Crazy" channel. Vacations are nice...quality time is cool...but PEACE OUT brother man...start stinking up someone else's bathroom between the hours of 7-4 ;)

  10. When Rick's home for extended periods of time he's banished to the basement. Don't feel bad, it's got a fireplace, large TV, poker table, pool table, full bathroom and a bedroom. If he's good he can come upstairs for dinner. Seems to work, we're still married.

  11. I am currently in a similar situation, my husband has been on medical leave since December 5. I'm ok with him being at home, but he has total cabin fever, which is starting to get on my nerves. Hopefully he'll be cleared to return to work next week **fingers crossed**, but it really hasn't been too bad. I agree it is totally healthy for a marriage to spend time apart. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
    Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

  12. This one sounds quite familiar! New follower from the Friendly Friday Hop. Hope you can stop by: http://www.mommysjuice.com

  13. I thought I was the only one. When my husband is home, it throws everything off and the dishes pile up as if I became a maid. He's off every year between Christmas and New Years - and it can be the longest week of the year.


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