Sunday, December 23, 2012

The battle of the gingerbread houses

My hubby begged and pleaded (okay more like put his foot down and insisted) that I blog about the little fiasco he calls "the battle of the gingerbread houses".  Since I certainly do my fair share of making fun of him on my blog, I guess I do kind of owe him (another) one.

I'm not sure who's idea it was to make gingerbread houses.  I think it was actually mine, but i'm going to pretend that it wasn't because holy guacamole, it was anything but fun.

We decided to use graham crackers because I don't even know how you'd attempt to make gingerbread. Did I mention I don't even own a rolling pin?  So I headed out to Winco to buy all the crap (I mean supplies) for the houses.  I ended up buying Skittles, Twizzlers, and a bunch of candy in bulk like the assorted hard candies (that taste like ass), and spiced gum drops (also repulsively disgusting).  I swear you would think that since I purposely bought candy that I don't like, that I would refrain from eating, but nope, I probably guzzled half a pound of ass-tastic candy.  Damn Depo!

As i'm heading up to the counter with what surely was $100 worth of supplies, I see them.  A whole freaking display of already assembled gingerbread kits for $8 that came complete with everything you needed to make the perfect gingerbread house. You've got to be kidding me!  Why they put them in the checkout aisles and not in the oh I don't know….BAKING AISLE is beyond me, but this is Winco and you all know how I feel about that (if you haven't go back and read old Winco thread).  I had already wasted over an hour of my life at the store and I didn't want to have to go back and put all the gingerbread crap away so homemade gingerbread (graham cracker) houses it was!  By the time I got home the kids were foaming at the mouth to get started.

This is how excited my kids get when they are sitting next to a plate full of candy...
I mixed up the frosting (yes, I actually used a homemade frosting recipe recommended for gingerbread houses) and we eagerly got started.  My hubby started helping Peanut, while I helped our 5 y/o son.  I had no idea what we were in for, but OH MY WORD this was not going as planned.  My house can best be described as a mushy pile of broken down shit.  My hubby who is one of those annoying people that is good at every freaking thing he touches was kicking my butt.  And it made me mad.  No, it's not a competition but dammit! Why do I suck at all things domestic, or artistic?

This is my house after an hour of attempting to slap that bitch together….
This is my hubby's….
and a frontal view
So, needless to say he ended up building all 3 gingerbread (graham) cracker houses while I silently cursed under my breath.  We left them overnight to dry and tonight I was in charge of helping the kids decorate them while the hubby left to run some last minute errands.  Holy hell, what a mess!  I seriously think I need my head examined for coming up with this idea.  Seriously, punch me square in the face if you hear me mention the words "gingerbread (graham cracker) houses" next year.

The houses are done, my dining room table is destroyed and my kids are running around like test tube gerbils on crack because they are all hopped up on sugar.  But it was worth it. Yes, definitely worth it. 


  1. LOVE your cracker/Gingerbread Houses! And the fact that you didn't just abandon your trolley of shopping and grab the kit. Merry Christmas!

  2. Love your cracker Gingerbread houses. Greatly admire the fact that you didn't abandon your shopping and grab the kit instead :-) Merry Christmas!

  3. oh my gosh! thank you for sharing! haha Definitely go with the kit next year. We just assembled a gingerbread tree from a box set and that is even easier than the box gingerbread houses.

  4. OMG ... laughing so hard my husband came in from the other room to find out what I was up to. Your ambition for the domestic amazes me! Never tried the gingerbread house thing ... because I know exactly what the house (my real one) would look like in the wake of that fiasco! playdough gave me all the clues I needed :)

  5. Aww those are so cute! Looks like you guys had a nice time!!

  6. That is so awesome. Also, thanks for the word ass-tastic integrated so nicely! We used to make the graham cracker gingerbread houses when we were kids...yup, big old pain in the ass. It went much better when we were older kids, pre-teens, and didn't have to involve our parents. Hats off to you for such an ambitious undertaking!

  7. Ahhh yes. The joy of assembling those atrocities. Many tears were shed last year while trying to create them - some even from the children. I also attempted one of the foam ones that *seem* easier. They're apparently cut with a prison shank made out of an old spoon. The glue that they provide wouldn't stick two pieces of gum together. And half the pieces are missing. Yay.

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