Here are some comebacks you can say out loud if you're really brave or feel free to just keep them in your head if you prefer.
Stupid question/comment #1: You're Hands Must Be Full
Answer: No, my hands aren't full, but my ass sure is. I guess it's all that stress from raising such a large family. I can't seem to stop eating.
Stupid question/comment #2: Don't you know what birth control is?
Answer: Yes, we hang your annual Christmas photo greeting card on our fridge and look at it before we have sex. It's worked quite well. We would've had a lot more than 5 kids if it weren't for your photos. Please keep them coming!
Stupid question/comment #3: I don't know how you do it
Answer: Great! I'll be dropping my kids off at your house at dinnertime. You can keep them for a week and then the mystery will be solved!
Stupid question/comment #4: Are they all yours?
Answer: No. I like to collect random kids. I'm hoping TLC will eventually give me my own reality show.
Stupid question/comment #5: It must be crazy at your house
Answer: Yeah, my husband is kind of a freak when he dresses up in his….oh wait you weren't talking about that kind of crazy. Nevermind!
Stupid question/comment #6: You do know what causes this right?
Answer: No, I don't. Can you explain it to me? I'm a visual learner by the way so pictures work best.
Stupid question/comment #7: Are you having anymore?
Answer: I don't know. My vagina isn't a Magic 8 ball.
Stupid question/comment #8: I can barely handle 2 kids, I can't imagine 5!
Answer: Yeah, if I had your kids, I would've stopped at 2 also.
Stupid question/comment #9: Do they all have the same dad?
Answer: No, some of them belong to your husband. You'll be hearing from my attorney soon about how much child support he owes me.
Stupid question/comment #10: How can you afford all these kids?
Answer: We hit up random strangers for donations. How much did you want to donate today?
Stupid question/comment #11: You're done right?
Answer: Nope, i'll never be done having sex.
Stupid question/comment #12: I could never handle 5
Answer: Yeah, I don't think you could either (and then just leave it at that and let them ponder your answer for a while. It will drive them crazy).