Friday, September 7, 2012

Take it like a…hmmm, not a man!

I broke my pinky toe today. Which isn't really funny, except for the circumstance surrounding the break is actually a little funny (or maybe pathetic is a more appropriate word).   I was actually jumping up off the couch to go fix a broken link that I had posted earlier on Twitter, but I suck at doing important tasks on my iphone.   So, I hopped off the couch like my ass was on fire because we all know that Twitter business is urgent and must be taken care of ASAP, but my pinky toe got caught on one of Peanut's teeny tiny little Adidas tennis shoes and SNAP! There went the toe.  I know it's broken.  It's shiny, stiff, and an odd shade of purplish/black.  It's a good thing summer is over as it's not exactly looking very flip flop friendly at the moment.

Sadly this isn't the first toe i've broken from tripping over kids' crap.   Several years ago I was trying to reach something off the top shelf of my oldest son's closet and I thought that using his Little Tikes shopping cart would make an excellent step stool.  Not even 5 seconds later I was on the ground, holding my foot and screaming a string of obscenities that I wont repeat here because I don't tolerate that type of language on my blog.  (That was a test to see who is really reading this and how well you know me, heehee).  

Anyways, the last time I broke a toe the doctor didn't do anything for the toe at all and it ended up just being a waste of a co-payment, so today I decided to suck it up and take it like a….wait I refuse to say man here because i'm married to one and I know his threshold for pain is like a zero on the Richter scale (yes, I know Richter scales are for earthquakes and not pain but whatever).  If it had been him who had the broken toe, he would've rolled around on the ground for an hour, ranting about how much pain he was in, complete with, "You don't understand how bad this hurts. You've never been in this much pain before".  Yeah, you're right! I don't know what pain is!  I guess those 8 lb babies I pushed out of my loins w/out any drugs were the equivalent of taking a nice, relaxing Hawaiian vacation! Silly me!   Then I would have the pleasure of waiting on him hand and foot while he laid on the couch being a royal pain in my ass until he was "healed".  

To further prove my point my husband was mortified by my decision to not go to the doctor. He keeps sending me texts from work saying, "I really think you should go to the doctor".  Yeah, yeah, yeah.   He even ended up coming home in the middle of the day because he "forgot something" but I think he really just wanted to spy on me.  I hate it when my husband makes unannounced daytime visits. I feel like the nanny who got caught on the nanny cam masturbating with the child's Pillow Pet while the children are watching Family Guy in the other room. Busted! My husband gave me that disapproving, "I know you haven't done shit today" look.  Gee, I don't know what could've given that away as I looked around at the piles of unwashed laundry exploding from our laundry room or the uneaten sandwich crusts still strewn all over the table from lunch or a wide open freezer door from one of Peanut's hit and run attacks on our fridge….sigh.

Right before he went back to work he insisted that I get off of my feet and lie down on the couch and put an ice pack on my foot.  That lasted a whopping 5 minutes until my 4 y/o came running up to me and said, "Mom, come see what Peanut's doing".  Yeah, that never ever ends well!   So, I decided to get up and see what the damage was and I see Peanut crouched over on the counter like a raccoon eating dried up rice cereal that he had dumped out all over the counter, and he had a carton of raw EGGS sitting next to him! Holy hell! If I had waited just a minute longer my counter top (no, scratch that. My entire kitchen) would've become one Peanut sized omelette.   This is why moms have no choice but to be tough as nails when they are sick or injured.  Who else is going to do this shit? 



19 comments:

  1. I've broken baby toes before too so I know that Doctors do nothing but tell you it's broken and bill you. Here's where you went wrong: next time tell Hubby he's right and you must go to hospital and he must come home and watch the kids, cook, clean and do laundry. Then get the heck out of there and come here for a drink.

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  2. Right? Just last week, our family was hit with the cold from hell, and it hit me the worst because the whole time I was sick, I was busy taking care of everyone else! Now they're all better and I still feel crappy :(

    Hope your toe recovers quickly!

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    1. Oh that is the worst! My hubby acts like he's on his death bed with a cold! I cannot handle him when he's sick. My life is going to suck when we're old, lol!

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  3. OMG, I'm laughing so hard ... how true is that! "men have a pain threshold of zero!" so you've met my husband?

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    1. I think it's in the husband handbook. There is definitely a reason women have the children!

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  4. Ha I wish my husband was like yours in that aspect. It may be because mine was a Marine, but he always assumes that no matter what it is I should just suck it up or that it is not as bad as I make it out to be. His answer for everything is to "drink more water." If I accidentally cut my arm off he'd say, "drink some more water."

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    1. This cracks me up because my hubby also thinks that water is the "cure all" to everything! LOL! He portrays himself as very tough, but when he's sick he's the biggest baby ever (but he doesn't see it at all and still maintains that he was tough). It's very irritating! LOL!

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  5. awwww nooooo poor baby! you need some luvin' lol! xoxox ...yeah umm i'm pretty clumsy with or without kids toys laying around lol. husband just sits there and laughs at me.

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Liebster Blog Award, but it’s a great way for bloggers to recognize and encourage each other. It’s a compliment, blogger style. I recently received the award and, because I follow and enjoy your writing, am bestowing it on you. Read my post here then write you own and link back to me. I hope you’ll enjoy paying it forward as much as I have. Happy blogging.

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    1. Awwww, thanks girl! I'm honored to accept! Thanks so much!

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  6. New to your blog. (and twitter). Yeah, I stalk like that. I hope your toe heals soon. Can you imagine men having periods or giving birth? Dear Lord, we'd all be doomed. I was getting an epidural with my second child and my husband passed out. Everyone, including the nurse helping the anesthesiologist, went to help him. Bless your man's heart for thinking you could have more than 4 minutes of "feet-up" time. They can be so cute sometimes,,,,or is it delirious?

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    1. Definitely a little of both, lol! That's hilarious he actually passed out! Thanks for commenting Michele!

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  7. So funny, sorry to laugh at your pain. I'd probably laugh harder if it didn't piss me off so much that my husband is such a baby. I can't stand it! I am a cancer survivor, have suffered through 1 successful pregnancy and therefore childbirthing, numerous other surgeries and ectopic pregnancies {2 requiring surgical removal} - and if he has the sniffles and a scratchy throat, I just can't fathom his pain. Grrrrr... :)
    I have actually broken my pinky toes (yes, both) several times each. Honestly, It's like they must stick out a little to catch on every piece of furniture, toy, etc. When I was a kid I had my first experience. By the second my mom thought it would be funny to make a "splint" out of a toothpick and bandaid. It was funny, but I swear it's a little crooked now. ;) I hope yours heals quickly! Newest follower! :)
    ~Dori
    http://belljarvintage.blogspot.com

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    1. Dori, wow, you've definitely got him on that one! My mom fought cancer for years but ended up dying from a bone marrow transplant. She was tough as nails and I rarely heard her complain. Maybe that's why I picture women being the strong ones, because I really think we don't get enough credit for all that we do! Thank you for the comment and for following. Following you back!

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  8. Ouch, poor thing! Take two beers and call me in the morning....

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    1. LOL! Two beers is the last thing I need. I'm even clumsier when i'm drunk!

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  9. eeps!! So sorry to hear that!! I would've cursed too and then taken it like a woman!! Now, isn't that a much better phrase to utter!! :))

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    1. LOL! Yes, I like "Take it like a woman" much better because it's way more accurate!

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