Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Creatively Challenged Moms Unite!

I suck at all things in the artistic or creative category.  I can write okay, but i'm not great.  I can follow a recipe, but I wouldn't say i'm a cook or a baker.  I can't draw, can't sing, can't play a musical instrument, didn't excel at any particular sport, can't even really color inside the lines (my kids kick my a@@ in this department), etc.

My mom died from a long battle with cancer when I was only 18.  The one thing I remember most about my mom is that she is one of those brilliant, creative, talented supermoms and I know I will never live up to her legacy.  She could make something magical out of the cardboard toilet paper roll thingy.  Me?  I just toss them in the recycling bin and never look back, lol!   She easily would've given Martha Stewart a run for her money!    My mom died in the 90's shortly before the internet exploded.  I have no doubt that she probably would've had her own crafty blog by now, teaching ordinary moms how to make extraordinary things.

She made all of my Halloween costumes by hand, and they were awesome!  Several months before Halloween, she would take me to the fabric store and we would pick out patterns and she would sew something adorable, creative, and one of a kind.  No other child ever had the same costume as me, as my mom would add her own personal touch to it.   My kids?  They get whatever is left over at Target, lol!   I'm ashamed to admit that I don't even own a sewing machine.  Nor, would I even know what to do with a sewing machine, lol!    My mom was a decorating maniac.  It would take her days to fully decorate the house for Christmas.  It was a multi-day process, lol!   She decorated every room of the house, even the bathrooms (heck, even our toilets were decked out in holiday magic, LMAO).    

Finding the perfect Christmas tree was straight out of the Berenstain Bears Christmas Tree book.   We searched high and low for that freaking tree.   We didn't just go to your local tree stand.  Oh heck no.  We had to put on full rain or snow gear and trek deep into the woods.   My mom would pace up and down the aisles for hours (yes, hours) and carefully screen each part of the tree.  My poor dad never had a say in anything, lol!  He was just a poor schmuck like the rest of us, who had two choices… shut up and keep trekking through those woods, lol!  It was a running joke in our family that after hours of searching every tree in the tree farm, we would almost always end up with one of the first trees that she looked at, lol!   She was just a perfectionist to the highest degree.  I'm assuming this is a common personality trait of the Martha Stewart types that I just do not possess.  I'm lazy, impatient and sloppy (hey i'm still talking arts & crafts here people).  

My birthday invitations were typically homemade and my birthday parties were amazing.   One year we had a Double Dare party (yes i'm showing my age here, lol).   She transformed the entire backyard into the most kick butt obstacle course, complete with huge tubs full of jello (and she even had the hand sewn flags that you had to dig out).  I wish I had a picture to share, but unfortunately all of my old family photos are still at my dad's (really need to go get those).  Anyways,  the list of fabulous parties she created were endless and they all had a unique theme.  Yes, folks add amazing party planner to her already long list of talents.   Yeah, she was THAT kind of mom….and I loved it :(    

Recently I decided I was going to try to learn something creative.  Perhaps I was inspired by Tori Spelling's Craft Wars (actually I really hate that show), or perhaps it's just my guilty conscience that i'm not living up to my mom's legacy…who really knows, but I got a crafting bug stuck up my butt.   I started thinking about the 3 upcoming birthdays my kids are having.    I know I thought….I can make their birthday cakes….from scratch!!!!!   I dove in head first and started searching the cake decorating blogs, You Tube tutorials, etc and started reading about all things cake making from supplies I would need, recipes, fondant, etc.   But, after the second or third tutorial, I found myself so completely bored that I seriously wanted to claw out my own eyeballs.   Hmmm, perhaps cake making isn't for me, lol!    I know I thought!   I could make a Turbo Man costume for M (he's obsessed with the 1996 Jingle All the Way movie….don't ask).   However, I was quickly reminded that I don't have a sewing machine and it was quite obvious that I would be in way over my head.   Scratch homemade costume off the list.   It looks like he will be Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  Thank goodness for Disney and Target for pre-made costumes, lol!   They should call the Target costume aisle, "Costume Center for Creatively Challenged Moms".

Desperate to do something to fill my creatively challenged void, I cautiously opened up Photoshop.    Come hell or high water, I was going to create something damn it!  I decided to make M a Turbo Man design that we can turn into a JPEG (much more up my alley), and then I can print it out on edible paper, buy a PRE-MADE sheet cake, that already has the sides decorated, and voila!   A custom cake, sort of made by mom, even if it's done via the computer, lol!

So, here's my half assed attempt to make something creative

*Disclaimer: I didn't make the actual turbo man graphic  (found it via google images)
If you are the artist who made this please let me know and I will be happy to give you full credit because you rock and can do stuff I obviously can't. 

And yes, my fellow blog readers who are reading this right now, I know it's not perfect, and i'm sure you could probably make it a million times better so please don't bother sending me in your brilliant masterpieces, lol!   But at least I tried and my son is thrilled with it and really that's what counts.   Of course now all of my kids are asking me to make them a homemade, edible cake topper, lol!   


  1. You are an amazing writer in that you make me feel as if I'm reading a letter/email from a good friend. You share things most moms wouldn't...and I admire you for that! :) Great post as usual!

  2. Awww, thanks so much for the compliment Alexis!!! I appreciate it SOOOO much! You just made my day!!!


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