Thursday, August 9, 2012

Secrets to a long, happy marriage…yeah I don't know either!

I don't know the secrets to a long, happy marriage.  I've been married twice.  The first one was a bit of a disaster, but I wont go into the gory details as it was many years ago and we've been divorced longer than we were married so it's not that big of a deal.  Okay, okay if you are going to keep twisting my arm, here it is in a nutshell (boy I sure do say nutshell a lot)…got pregnant right out of high school, dad pressured me to get married, my mom had just died so I wasn't thinking straight, we were too young and my ex was apparently having sex with everyone but me, blah, blah, blah.   Again, not that interesting, but I did get 2 amazingly awesome kids out of the deal so it wasn't a total loss.

Anywho, i'm not going to write this long, cheesy, rainbows up your butt, redonkulous post about the secret to a happy marriage, because honestly I don't think anyone really knows and it's different for everyone. What makes one couple happy, is not necessarily going to work for the next couple.  J & I have been together for 10 years now and aren't showing any signs of marital decay at this point (is marital decay even a term? LOL).  I honestly feel that we're in it for the long haul, because neither one of us want a divorce, and we both agree that we balance each other well and we really are best friends.  I know all couples say that, but if you see some couples together you wonder how they even manage to co-exist without murdering each other.  We really don't fight about a lot.  Sure we nitpick and gripe at each other, which is a given after being together for so many years.  There are days when just hearing the man chew his food makes me go a little postal, but nothing that serious.  Well I take that back, there is one kinda-sorta big recurring issue that I wont discuss because it's deeply personal, but we are aware of it and we do try to talk about it.   It's the only area of our marriage that we are not exactly compatible in.  We've read Dr. Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages" and let's just say we didn't share any common languages, lol!  No, sorry people, no amount of arm twisting is going to get me to spill the beans on this one, lol!

We're similar creatures in some sense of the word.  Both of us are loners and not very social.  We have a few good friends, but don't really make much of an effort to make new friends.  Having just a couple of close friends works for both of us, as we spend most of our time together anyways.  We are homebodies who are perfectly content just staying home and watching TV together.  We enjoy a lot of the same activities, and we have a lot of things in common (our obsession with Dutch Bros Coffee, Jamba Juice and Deadliest Catch immediately spring to mind).  Then in some ways we are total, complete opposites.  He's type A, and I don't know what type you would call me (type U for unmotivated maybe, lol).   He's a perfectionist and super artistic and talented (he's a Director of Photography for those wondering about his professional career and you don't get to that position without a lot of hard work and talent).   He's a real go getter and I admire him so much for his accomplishments.   *Hopefully he's reading this so I can get some serious brownie points for this one, lol.   I can't even draw a stick figure (see my previous post about being creatively challenged for more info).

Most people see J as very serious and quiet because that's his public persona but at home he's a total goofball.  I mean laugh out loud, hysterically funny.  I remember his first student film that he made was called "Ghetto Cribs" and it was so funny that I was rolling on the ground holding my stomach, as was everyone else who watched it.  I wish my husband would transfer it onto the computer so I could share, but he's shy so it's never going to happen.   His impersonations are brilliant, and he could easily do voice overs for any TV show or commercial.  I have never met anyone who could make me laugh so easily and I guess if I absolutely had to choose a secret to a happy marriage, humor would be at the top of my list.

Here's an example of why me & J work:

I walk by the hallway.  Hubby is hiding in the walk in closet.  I pass him by without even looking.

J: "No fair! You walked by before I could jump out and go all ninja on your ass"

Me:  "Sorry"  Big eye roll

J: "Go back and walk by the closet again"

Me: "It won't have the same effect. I already know you're going to go all ninja on my ass. I'd be too prepared".

Then I turned around to walk by the closet to get to the bathroom.   J was standing in the closet giving me the thumbs up, and making the most hilarious, awkwardly funny face i've ever seen in my entire life.   I warned him that if he held it any longer I was going to take a picture and put it on my blog, and that quickly killed it.  I tried to find a picture online that replicated his hilarious face, but nothing even came close so I gave up.  There was nothing "ninja" about his face, but it was hysterically funny and a classic example of why we work. 

1 comment:

  1. My husband gets so mad when I ruin his attempts to scare the ever-living daylights out of me. Then I roll my eyes, and he accuses me of planning to blog about it. Then I laugh, because he's right. ;)

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