Thursday, October 4, 2012

Secret Subject Swap

"The Secret Subject Swap" includes nine brave bloggers who agreed to take on the challenge of being assigned a subject and interpreting it into a piece written in our own style. Everyone involved picked a secret subject for someone else and was also assigned one to complete on their own.  Today we are spilling the beans on what we were assigned and what we submitted.

Here are the links to all nine bloggers featuring secret subject swap posts today. We seem to think we're pretty funny, so please come check out our blogs and see if you agree! 

My secret subject is "If you had 24 hours to spend with any person in the world (it must be someone you've not yet met) who would it be and what would you do?" It was submitted by

Here goes: 

If I could choose anyone in the world to spend 24 hours with, I would choose Roseanne Barr.  She is my comedic inspiration, my parenting role model, my ambassador of quan.  I faithfully watch Roseanne re-runs every single day and laugh at her hilarious and witty comebacks.  I admire her so much that I even wrote an essay about her in college, despite my writing professor's warning that she thought it was a really bad idea.  However, I ignored her desperate pleas to pick a more safe and universal topic (AKA boring and douchenozzely) and wrote my essay all about the Roseanne show and how it changed the world. Sure enough this girl right here got an A!  If only computers still had floppy disk drives I could show you my brilliantly written essay, but unfortunately it's lost in a technology time warp.

Whenever I need a pick me up or i'm having one of those annoying, weak, whiny ass, girl moments, I look up Roseanne quotes for some inspiration and strength.

These are a just a few of my favorites (I really love them all):

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. 

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. 

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do. 

As someone who lost my mother at the painfully young age of 18 from a long battle with cancer, I found myself lacking a strong female role model in my life.  Not only did I lose my mom at 18, but I also had my first child that same year, just nine months after my mother's death.  I didn't have any parenting role models, other than the precious, fading memories of my own mother.  In many ways Roseanne reminds me a lot of my own mother.  She's funny, smart, honest, opinionated, loud, and tougher than nails.  Perhaps that's why I was so drawn to Roseanne in the first place. I wasn't blessed with any sisters (or cursed as some would say). My grandmothers both died young, and the rest of my family is…well, freaking nuts!  My dad remarried about 8 years ago, but his wife doesn't even have any kids, and she has made it abundantly clear that she never wanted them and doesn't particularly like children. She has two dogs that she considers to be her kids.  She really, honestly, seriously thinks that having dogs is the same as having kids, although she really knows nothing about kids because she's never had any. Yeah, she's one of those…sigh.  I guess you can say Roseanne is my surrogate mother.  Roseanne, if for some reason you come across this post someday, I promise i'm not some creepy stalker chick that needs to be slapped with a restraining order!

I'm not really sure what Roseanne and I would do for 24 hours, other than trade some wisecracks and maybe tee-pee some crooked politician's houses if she were up for it.  Honestly I don't know and I don't care, because just to be in the same room with her would be an absolute honor!


  1. LOVE the way someone else gave you a topic and you turned it into epic you! You are very much like Roseanne, when you have something to say you damn well say it. GREAT post, loved reading it!

  2. I think Roseanne would be honored. Your reasoning was so heartfelt. I adored her show and couldn't wait for Tuesdays when it would come on. My favorite quote was when she told Darlene during a fight, "Bitch Bitch Bitch! That's all you ever..are." Priceless.

  3. This must be why I love your blog!!!! I LOVE Roseanne Barr!!!!!! I watch the re-runs too!!!! I grew up wathching her and love her whitty comments!!!

  4. What a cool idea for a blog hop. I love her quote about taking the power. We must take it!

  5. I just followed Roseanne Barr on Twitter so I can share this with her. Let's start a Twitter campaign and get her to meet her #1 fan.

    I love this post. It made me a little sad and a lot happy all at the same time.

  6. That's a wonderfully poignant post!! Loved it!

  7. So, when are you doing the topic swap again :)

  8. OMG, what a fun idea!!! Roseanne is hysterical! Great choice. :)

  9. I also like the Roseanne tv show and I like her sense of humor. It really gets me when people say she's not funny. I'm like are you kidding me??? Great post.

  10. how did I miss this post???? I am so sorry babe, I LOVED the Rosanne show, she cracked me up... she is honest and makes no excuses for who she is. Great person to chill with babe.

  11. Roseanne is my hero! LOVE her!!
    I lost my mom when I was 20 and 11 days before my 1st child's Birthday. It was one of those middle of the night calls that you never really expect to be on the receiving end of. So, I definitely know where you are coming from. My step-monster doesn't have kids either.. And my kids can't stand her... BLAH!!!!


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